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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| Hey, folks and humans. It’s been a while since the Lost Stupid Poll was sent out, and the results have yet to be seen. Would you believe I lost them? HA HA HA! Okay, so, eight people responded to this poll. It’s not enough for a baseball team, but eight is enough to fill our hearts with love. Marta Fischer was the first person to respond this time around, so she wins the imaginary prize, which she can hang on her imaginary wall, right next to the imaginary marlin she bagged on her imaginary hunting trip to Canada. Which, as we all know, is an imaginary country. 1. Which of these brings you more joy? a)biting heads off animal crackers b)drinking milk right out of the carton c)putting on socks still warm from the dryer d)turning on the radio just as a song you like starts It’s a landslide! “Turning on the radio” received 6 responses. It was followed by “animal crackers” and “putting on socks” with 1 response each. It’s too bad “animal crackers” didn’t win... I would have done my rendition of that Shirley Temple song for everyone. “Drinking milk” didn’t get 2% of the votes, or 1% of the votes, or even skim of the votes. It received zero responses. One person even called it “gross,” but I have a feeling that person has never tried it. Sorry, milk. 2. Under which of these circumstances would you be most likely to eat green eggs and ham? a)in a house b)with a mouse c)in a box d)with a fox e)in a car f)on a train g)in the dark h)in the rain i)with a goat j)on a boat Replies were spread out on this one, my friends, but choice g) was the winner in the end. There were 3 poll-readers who chose it, commenting, “That way I wouldn’t be able to tell it’s green,” and “If it was in the dark, I wouldn’t know, so I couldn’t eat them, Sam-I-am!” There was one response for the letter b). And h) got one response too, you see. For d) one person cast their vote And “f)” is what another wrote. As for j), c), i), e) and a) They all got none, so woe is they. Also, one poll-reader shared this personal testimony: “I’ve already ate green eggs and ham And I enjoyed them more that Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam. I ate them at a young age in my house They were cooked up by my mom’s ex-spouse.” Next time maybe I’ll ask a question about the Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz! 3. Of the following w---n from ------’s Company, which --- -- you think y-u w--l- m--t li-- to be stuck in an e----tor with, if you --- --? a)Janet b)Chrissy c)Cindy d)Terri e)Lana f)Mrs. Roper Ooh, here’s where the only extant copy of the Lost Stupid Poll started to show its wear and tear. Could YOU figure out what it was asking? Mrs. Roper was the clear favorite with 4 responses, though I can’t imagine why. All she’s going to do is complain about Stanley. Do you really want to listen to that while stuck in an e----tor? Comments included “dare to dr-am,” and “She would immediately recognize that I have an appreciation for the late, great Norman Fell.” Chrissy received 2 votes. I guess that would be okay... She could read you selected passages from The Sexy Years. Terri received 1 vote from someone who “never really watched the show.” Say, is it just me or does anyone else out there think Terri was just as good a blonde roommate as Chrissy? Nobody chose Janet, Cindy, or Lana. Sorry, girls. You can go in the corner and cry with the milk from question one. Just don’t cry over it if it spills. 4. Have yo- e--- known a ------ who used masking tape to ------ with a- armadillo w---- ----ing a ---- ----- on The Legend of Zelda? By the way, this question wasn’t based on my own real-life experience. It was inspired by an article I read in Woman’s Day. There were 4 affirmative answers, including, “I did, but I stayed away from him because that’s just sick.” And 3 people gave negative answers, such as, “I d--'t th--k s-,” and “Interpretation: Have you ever known anyone who used maskint tape to get jiggy with an armadillow wearing a green hat on The Legend of Zelda? Can't say I have.” Then there was this response: “Excuse me, Princess?” which makes sense to anyone who watched cartoons after school in 1989 to 1991 or so. It might also make sense to the parents of anyone who watched those cartoons. I have a question about that, though: Did Link ever get Zelda to kiss him, for real, voluntarily? I have another question: Whose armadillo is this? 5. Free answer: If yo- could lick any ------, wh-- ------ woul- you lick and why? Answers included: (Actually, these are all the answers) -A rose, because a rose by any other name .... -The first one, because it's always the most fresh. -I cannot answer this question on account of it would bring shame upon me, my family, and all of my ancestors (except Uncle Wilbur, who owned 422 sheep, and incidentally not married.) -I cannot answer this question in its current form as I feel it may incriminate myself and my family. -not appropriate to say -Kathy Bates' Oscar. The why should be obvious. -I would lick the planet Neptune, becuase my tongue would get stuck and it would be funny. -Lick her? I don't even know her! 6. ----- -- the ---- when --- -- --- ----------. Who -- you h--- to ---- in ----- for ----- ---- ----- -----? a)---i-- b)---ch c)------ d)other I hope this question made you laugh a little, cry a little, and think a little. Choice b) was the winner, barely, with 3 responses. Elaborations included, “B, Cheech,” and “---ch is hot.” Next was a TWO-way tie, with TWO choices receiving TWO votes each. They were d) and c). Comments for d) included “Yes, definitely D. And K-Mart,” while comments for c) included “I never did like ------ anyway.” And then there was this reply: “ I cannot make out enough of the question to answer. I believe more research should be done before posting this lost poll. If science and anthropology can solve the puzzle of Egyptian heiroglyphics (sp?) then I believe the same is true of the items found in the Stapleton residency. My 6th grade science teacher Mrs. Stepanik taught me that nearly anything is possible if you employ the scientific method. She also taught me that it is ok to marry your cousin if you don't intend on having children. I suggest you try carbon dating.” I had Ms. Stepaniak for 6th grade science too, and I don’t remember anything about cousins getting married. Then again, I was probably too busy drawing pictures of Batman fighting the Human Torch to pay attention. So there you have it. The Lost Stupid Poll results. Share them with your friends and your pets, and your favorite Supreme Court justices. Thanks again to those who replied, and remember: Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. Also, I like waffles. Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Waffles are tasty.... |
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