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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| I sure like FAQs, don’t you? “FAQ” is an acronym for “Frequently Asked Questions.” A FAQ is a page on a website that offers helpful information to satisfy the curiosity of the information-seeking web-surfer. Some FAQs are just pages full of facts, but I prefer the “Q and A” format. Not every site has such a page, but if I’m visiting a site that does, it’s a sure thing I’ll read it. I’ve even read FAQs on pages I’ve come across accidentally, pages devoted to subjects I don’t really care about. I suppose I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge, and a well-executed FAQ can edify me with morsels of data I never even knew I wanted to know, like how old Prince Adam on He-Man was. I’ve clicked around on a few FAQs, and come up with a kooky little challenge for YOU, the reader of this journal. I took the questions and answers from 19 FAQ pages, and mixed them all up, so the questions are paired with wrong answers and vice versa. Now I’d like to see if YOU, the reader of this journal, can correctly match the questions to their real answers. If you’re feeling especially clever, you can then try to match the question-and-answer pairs to the FAQ they came from, from the list of 19 FAQs below. Post your answers in the comments area below, or e-mail them to me. You can copy and paste the questions and answers, or you can just match them up by number, like, “Q12 goes with A8.” (Note: It doesn’t.) Go ahead, try it. It’ll be fun. Maybe the person who comes closest to getting all the correct answers will win a prize. Questions & Answers Q1. Are there any words that use w as a vowel? A1: Yes, among them the word "assassination". Q2. How do I become an astronaut? A2: Simply stop in and fill out an application at the Denny's nearest you. Use our restaurant locator to find one in your area. Q3: What has Kraft been doing to reduce or eliminate trans fat in Oreo cookies? A3: Our registration system requires that you accept the cookies from NYTimes.com to enter our Web site. You can tell a cookie comes from us if you see ""nytimes.com"" in the cookie notification. Q4: Did Lincoln write the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope? A4: Yes. He changed his diet in 1992 after a fan gave him a book called "Diet For A New America." He currently eats no meat and also tries to avoid eggs and dairy products. Q5: What do SAT scores look like? A5: They have a horse-like head, monkey-like tail, and kangaroo-like pouch. In fact, even their eyes can be likened to those of a chameleon in that they move independently of each other and in all directions. Q6: I feel lustful yet creepily paternal toward Dominic Monaghan! What should I do about it? A6: You should visit your local sewing machine dealers and try a variety of different machines to see what you like. Q7: How can I make reservations to attend a taping of Dr. Phil? A7: If you aren't a US citizen, become one; that is a must. Get a PhD. Be in good physical condition, with good eyesight. Get a pilot's license and make flying your number one hobby. Q8: DO YOU HAVE A GIANT STOMACH INSIDE THAT LITTLE BODY? A8: No, sorry to disappoint you guys, but I'm not Lindsay Lohan. I'm just a regular seventeen-year-old girl who happens to have made a fansite on her. Q9: What's that program that turns stuff into Mock Swedish? A9: The Tennessee Valley Authority is a federal corporation and the nation’s largest public power company. Q10: Did Shakespeare invent words? A10: No. Lincoln prepared his speeches with great care. There are several original copies of the speech, none of which appear on envelopes. Q11: Is Al a vegetarian? A11: McDonald's is committed to serving 100% pure beef hamburgers at all of our restaurants around the world. No additives, extenders or fillers are added. Q12: Are you the guy that does the comic “Ziggy”? A12: Maybe try and keep it under wraps, okay? Q13. Tell me about the quality of your hamburgers. A13: We have been actively exploring ways to reduce trans fats in Oreo cookies while still maintaining the high quality standards consumers expect of us. Those efforts are continuing. Q14: How do I apply for an hourly position? A14: The SAT has three scores, each on the scale of 200 to 800. Your score will include writing (W 200-800), mathematics (M 200-800), and critical reading (CR 200-800). Q15: What is TVA? A15: It's called the "Encheferizer." Q16: Can I stop the cookies from being set? A16: Yes. Cwm (a steep-walled semicircular basin in a mountain, sometimes containing a lake; a cirque) and crwth (an ancient Celtic musical instrument), both from the Welsh. Q17: How do I choose a sewing machine? A17: Audience reservations for Dr. Phil are available almost exclusively by phone. Demand far exceeds supply, so it may take up to a week for a representative from our audience department to call you back. Q18: What do they look like? A18: My stomach is really normal size, but over the years it has been trained to stretch quite a bit. As far as capacity is concerned, I believe I can handle up to 16 pounds of food and liquid overall. Q19: Are you Lindsay Lohan? A19: No. It seems that there are two, only two “Tom Wilsons” in the country. I am one of them. The cartoonist who draws the “Ziggy” comic is the other. FAQs Abraham Lincoln Online Absolute Shakespeare The College Board Denny’s Dictionary.com Dr. Phil official site Kraft Foods LOHANonline Lost at Television Without Pity McDonald’s Muppet newsgroup FAQ The New York Times Project Seahorse SewingWithTom.com Sonya Thomas: Competitive Eating’s “The Black Widow” Space FAQ Tennessee Valley Authority Tom Wilson’s Big Pop Fun “Weird Al” Yankovic official site Click here for the follow-up post, including the answers. Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Is Tom Wilson of Tom Wilson's Big Pop Fun the guy who played Biff in Back to the Future? |
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| Yes, this "Tom Wilson" is the same guy as "Thomas F. Wilson." |
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| I only see 19. |
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| I don't like these new-fangled SAT scores. Kids say they got a 1700 and I'm like, "That's not an SAT score!" They could at least do some sort of n/2400*1600 conversion for us old timers. |
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| Amy: Thanks for catching that; I've edited it. The previous draft of the journal had 20, including this mixed-up FAQ: Q: Can I bring in a piñata? A: No. Due to security reasons, we cannot allow people with firearms to go on the tour. Mike: I don't even remember my SAT score. |
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| So you're saying I can't bring in a piñata. Nuts. |
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