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I have begun my turn to the dark side.
Today I got a cell phone for the very first time. I even wrote a poem about it:
It's a phone
Of my own
I've resisted it for so long... it's been a point of pride, even, that I haven't been One of Those People. "I don't want to be available all the time!" I said. "And besides, I'm not important enough to need a phone anyway."
You know... not as important as the 13-year-old girls who can't even make it through a trip to The Limited Too without placing or receiving at least three urgent calls. They're probably talking to business partners, many of them named Tiffany.
On several recent occasions I've had reason to borrow my dad's phone and my sister's phone. As much as it surprised me, I got a taste for it in a big way. As it turns out, they're darned convenient to have when used wisely. During a recent trip to New York City I probably participated in as many cell phone conversations in one week as I had in my life up to then. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration. Or maybe it's not. Why don't you call me and find out?
I used to walk by people on phones and laugh to myself and wonder if any of them were talking to each other without realizing they were in the same vicinity. Will others now wonder the same thing about me?
There are a number of phone habits which I will not allow myself to get trapped in. Each of you reading this is my best friend ever, so I want you to hold me accountable. If you ever catch me doing any of these things, give me a glare, a stern talking-to, a smack on the head, or some combination of the three.
• I will never make a call with the sole purpose of ascertaining how the recipient is doin', or where the recipient is at.
• I might use text messaging, infrequently. However, I will not use dumb abbreviations. For example, I will never substitute the letter "U" for the word "you" unless referring to a Prince song.
• I will never talk on my phone while in the restroom. Every time I see a guy on the phone at a public urinal, I want to say, "Tell 'em where you are!" A few times I have said this, but the phone user never does it.
• If I ever let my phone ring in a movie theater or at a live performance, I do not deserve to live.
• On a related note (ha!), I will find the least annoying ring tone possible. Most of the time I'll probably set the phone on Vibration Alert anyway.
• I will not throw trash in a "Recycling Only" bin. This has nothing to do with the phone, it's just a lousy thing to do.
• I will not dial while operating a car, truck, or bulldozer. I may dial while operating a dirigible, but only if I've reached a safe crusing altitude.
• I will not lick my phone.
Wow. That's a lot of rules I'm giving myself. I intended to end this post by inviting you all to give me a call sometime, but clearly the only way to follow all these rules is to never turn the phone on at all.
Comments on this post are closed. |
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| I feel obliged to point out that despite the title of this journal post, I am not actually on Cingular. I'm on Verizon, but I just couldn't think of a better title. I hope this does not cause a scandal. |
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Yeah, I hated cellphones too until I got one. It's easy to be unavailable--just turn it off.
Course, I've never thought of licking my phone. Is it exciting? |
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| I wasn't on Cingular when I became bound by my latest contract, but I am now on Cingular anyway via corporate merger. My point, give it time... |
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Ryan,
Congrats on your new cell purchase. I'm probably the only one who cares here, but what type of phone did you get? I sell Verizon at RadioShack so I'm just currious what you got. Remember if you've got questions I've got answers. :) |
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In the early 1980's, the government split up the "singular" phone company. Now, with SBC trying to buy AT&T, we're getting very close to where we were. What's still not known is if it will be called "SBC," "Cingular," or "AT&T," even though SBC will be the core of the new company.
I'm fond of "TC," for "The Company." |
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"Radio Shack.. You've got questions, we've got batteries."
How I long for the days when Radio Shack smelled like solder and the counter people didn't work on commission.
I've been thinking about upgrading my phone. The fun ones are really expensive, though. Even on e-bay. Surely there's a black market somewhere? |
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Sara: So far I've resisted the temptation to lick the phone. So far. And my phone has been off for more time than it's been on.
Nikki: I have a Samsung something-or-other... It's really small, so I hope not to accidentally throw it away like a lost retainer. It takes pictures, a feature I'm sure I'll use very never. |
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Ryan,
I think it's swell that you got a cell phone. |
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| Ryan, is it recepient or recipient? Or is it reciprient (as in Uvalde)? Just wondering. |
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Oh man, I had forgotten all about all about "reciprient."
That's the funniest out-of-left-field comment I've read in a long time.
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Okay, it's been fixed.
The awards ceremony when Mr. What's-His-Name kept saying, "The reciprient of this award..." was so irritating. I wanted to jump up there and make him the reciprient of a knuckle sandwich! |
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Ryan,
If its the phone that I think it is then it's the same one as mine. The A670 which is a nice little phone. I noticed that in all your excitment of getting a phone that you failed to mention what your new cell number is. Since you have Verizon and I do too we could talk to each other for free and reminisce about all the fun times in high school, Calamity Jane and that silly test that we all had to take in the cafeteria (What was that test called anyways?) or just catch up on how things are going. That is unless you don't want to.
Mike in response to your joke about RadioShack I will totally have to agree with you. We don't have a lot of answers but we sure do have a lot a batteries. I wish we didn't work on commission then working at RadioShack might actually be more fun. |
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| I had a cell phone once...I sold it. Does that make me part of the black market? |
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| That depends. Did you sell it from the inside of a trench coat and/or out of the back of a van? |
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| What about talking on your phone while eating at a resturant with someone? I hate that one almost as much as a phone ringing in a theatre. |
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John, you need to get with the times. In this day and . . .
Hold on, I have a phone call.
I'll finish this comment later. |
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| No there was no trench coat invlovled. However, I did barter the price through someone else. The first time I spoke to the buyer is when he came to my house at 10 pm and gave me the money. |
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| Cole, are you not supposed to also tell Ryan that you loved him? |
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That's not something I just throw around so easily. Perhaps after we really get to know each other.
OOH! You're talking about the last thing I posted. Sorry. Hehe. |
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Ryan, glad to hear you got a phone, but what is your Number? Another rule to add, don't have a phone conversation while talking with a sales associate, or making a purchase. That is so rude.
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