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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| The following is a short story I wrote when I was in fifth grade. I guess I was ten years old. by Ryan Roe One day, Prunetta Carmen got a phone call. " What's the difference between an elephant and a rubber chicken?" the voice on the line said. "A rubber chicken lays rubber eggs," she replied. There was a pause. It was refreshing. All of a sudden she had an urge for a Coke. "Well?" she said finally. "YOU WIN!" the man said."YOU WILL BE ON THE STUPID, WEIRD, CRAZY, COOCAMUNGA SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The next day was a blur. She rode in an airplane to Lost Angeles. On the plane there were some boys misbehaving. "Why don't you boys play outside?" she told them. There was a killer shark called Grate White. "May I show you the menu?" she asked. "No," said the shark. "I'll just see the passenger list." There was also a chicken there. "Do you serve chicken?" it inquired suspiciously. "Oh yes!" the steward replied. "We serve anybody!" At last she got to Lost Angeles. A limousine picked her up. The driver said, "Hello, I'm Morgan, and I'll be your driver, Miss-" "Crazy," Prunetta replied without thinking. So the driver started down the road driving Miss Crazy. The game was on live. Her first question: "What did Dennis the Menace's mom say to his dad when he suggested another child?" Prunetta was shocked. "That's insane!" she cried. "Absolutely right!" shouted the game show host. The other contestant was none other than Clyde Fern the Wonder Horse! His question: "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" The answer: "As much wood as a woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood." Wow, thought Prunetta. "How many lions can fit in an empty pickle jar, Ms. Carmen?" He caught her off guard. She didn't have her security guard with her. "Uh uh uh uh ....two?" "NO! Sorry, but the answer is....one! Then it isn't empty anymore." "For crying out loud!" she exclaimed softly. A baby in the audience started crying out loud. She got the next two questions right: "What were her first words?" and "Did she like the host's hair?" But Clyde got his questions right also. At last he missed a beet. His question was: "Do beets have seeds?" He absentmindedly answered yes. Prunetta reached for the buzzer. There wasn't one. She took the B out of her mother's maiden name, Webird, which made it Weird. She pushed down on the B. It buzzed. She said, "Beets do not have seeds." The answer was right! She had beeten him! Later in the show Mr. Wonder Horse had 50 more points than she did. He lost 50 for biting his hoofnails, which was stupid, weird, and crazy. The final question was for both of them. "How do you spell doggerel?" Clyde's answer: "D-O-U-G-E-R-E-L". Prunetta: "D... oh, gee... G-E-R-E-L". D-O-G-G-E-R-E-L was right! Prunetta won a lifetime supply of eggrolls and $10,000! Comments on this post are closed. |
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| I'm glad there was a happy ending. And any ten year old who makes jokes about spelling "doggerel" is okay with me. |
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| That was the cutest thing ever. |
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| When my family first got a computer, I started writing these stories pretty prolificly. Before this one, there was one about Clyde Fern the Wonder Horse and his friend Whogoose the Moose solving a mystery. |
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| I read lots of things written by elementary students, and this is much funnier than most, and was written before you had to pass a writing test to move to the next grade. I'll try to remember the "go play outside" line for my kids next time they're fighting on an airplane. Do you ever submit things you've written to get paid for them? Just an idea. |
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| I can remember when you wrote those stories. And just think, some day I'll be able to say that I knew you when. When what, I don't know, but I knew you anyway. |
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