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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| It's almost time for the 300th Annual Academy Awards! And it's a good thing too, because I had already decided that I was going to stay up way too late past my bedtime on Sunday, Feb. 24, and now I have something to watch. Otherwise I would have been forced to spend the entire evening trying on different shades of lipstick. The most exciting thing about the ceremony this year, of course, is that there will be a ceremony. The writers' strike has ended, our national nightmare is over, and I for one can't wait to see who introduces the death montage. Jon Stewart will be picking up the hosting reins from last year's Ellen DeGeneres, in keeping with the academy's tradition of choosing clever TV personalities who are attracted to women. As always, I've made my predictions on who I think will win, including some I think are sure things and some I'm choosing just because they're not sure things and I'm hoping to feel really smart if they win in an upset. Also, I think I've seen more of the nominated films this year than last year, so I'm perhaps more likely to throw Fritos at the TV if the voting doesn't go the way I expect it to. So here we go: Best Actor: Nobody is expecting Daniel Day-Lewis not to win for There Will Be Blood. On the other hand, nobody is not expecting him not to not win. Either way, his performance was riveting throughout every second of this very long movie, so he deserves it. Heck, he even created a bizarre catch phrase, in the form of "I drink your milkshake!" (That's right, I spell "milkshake" as one word. Tell me I'm wrong, Entertainment Weekly. Tell me I'm wrong.) Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem. After he wins, expect the Anton Chigurh haircut fad to sweep the nation, and for the Cow-Killing Air Gun to become the must-have toy for this St. Patrick's Day. I've heard great things about Hal Holbrook's performance in Into the Wild, so there's a chance he could win, especially because he's old, but I’m still going with Bardem. Dumbest Movie With the Word “Chuck” in the Title: It’s a tie! I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Good Luck Chuck Best Actress: I predict that when Academy voters see Julie Christie's performance, they won't be able to stay Away From Her! This category also includes Ellen Page, for a performance considerably quirkier than you might expect to find in this category. (I don't think Julie Christie's character ever wears a Slinky t-shirt in her movie.) Elizabeth: The Golden Age's Cate Blanchett is now the first woman ever to be nominated twice for playing the same character, which is almost as cool for her as it is for movie trivia nerds. It would be swell if she could make it a hat trick for the upcoming 2010 film Queen Elizabeth vs. Predator. Laura Linney's in this category too. I never got around to seeing The Savages, but I sure do like Laura Linney, and I hope she wins an Oscar someday. Best Supporting Actress: It'll be Cate Blanchett for playing a variation on Bob Dylan in I'm Not There. Blanchett is the 11th performer to be nominated in two acting categories in the same year, which is almost as cool for her as it is for movie trivia nerds. You know what would be cool? If Bob Dylan shows up, dressed as Blanchett, to accept the award. American Gangster's Ruby Dee has the whole age thing on her side, but I hear she didn't have much screen time -- she appears in only a few more scenes in the film than, say, Monty Barton. Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone) and Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton) both seem like strong contenders, so if either of them win I guess I won't scream and fall down and jump out the window. Least Pronounceable Actress: Saoirse Ronan, although she has some pretty serious competition from Bratz: The Movie star Zyrlnxya Q#+-}{znson-Jones. Delightfullest Actress: Enchanted's Amy Adams. By a landslide. She sang a song about scrubbing the toilet! Best Animated Feature: It's not hard to make Paris seem romantic or food seem wonderful, but Ratatouille also made me root for rats in the kitchen, and it deserves to win and it will win. (It also features the best performance of Janeane Garofalo's career, and probably Patton Oswalt's too.) Did anyone see Surf's Up? Does it stand a chance? The academy foolishly awarded Happy Feet last year so one can never underestimate their love of penguins, but I feel pretty confident about giving this one to the rats. Best Pirate: I know Johnny Depp is by far the favorite for Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wit’s End. But – and I know this is quite a long shot – I’m going to go with Robert DeNiro in Stardust. Call me a fool if you must! Best Art Direction: Sweeney Todd Best Cinematography: Atonement Filthiest Love Note: Atonement. I hear Jane Fonda was the creative consultant. Haw haw haw. Best Costume Design: Sweeney Todd Best Documentary Feature: No End in Sight. There wasn’t a big sleeper hit documentary this year… The closest thing was the highly enjoyable The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, and that’s not nominated. Even Michael Moore's Sicko came and went without attracting many hollers. Best Documentary Short: Freeheld Most Adventurous Old Folks: Of course Harrison Ford will be collecting this award a year from now, but this time around it’s gotta be Jon Voigt and Helen Mirren in National Treasure: Book of Matches. Best Editing: Roderick Jaynes for No Country For Old Men. One thing that's interesting about Jaynes is that he doesn't actually exist: he's a pseudonym for directors Joel and Ethan Coen. I'm looking forward to seeing what they do about accepting the Oscar. Will they get an actor to portray Jaynes, as they once did on a DVD commentary for Blood Simple? Will both Coens go up together in a "two-headed editor" costume? Or will they get Bob Dylan dressed as Cate Blanchett to accept? Either way, it won't be the first time an imaginary person has won an Oscar. The 1982 winner for Best Makeup was actually a family of squirrels inhabiting a large trenchcoat. Best Foreign Language Film: The Counterfeiters Hottest Fuzz: Hot Fuzz Best Makeup: It's a shame Norbit has already been released on video, because I would love to see DVD covers exclaiming "ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED!" But while I don't doubt that it took great artistry and skill to turn Eddie Murphy into a repulsive, morbidly obese woman so that he could sit on himself, I think this award will go to La Vie en Rose. Best Score: Does a good score draw attention to itself or not? I think the best ones ensure you notice and respond them without overpowering the rest of the film, and in this case Atonement looks to be the most worthy of a statuette, with its recurring typewriter rhythms. Clickety clackety clackety clackety. Best Song: This is one of those categories where I'm not sure whether I should trust my instincts or... not. Three different songs from the delightful movie Enchanted are nominated, and it seems to me that "That's How You Know" is in fact the Best (movie) Song of the year. It's the winner of the Most Played on Ryan's iTunes award, anyway. But there's been some speculation that the three Enchanted songs will split the vote and "Falling Slowly" from Once will win. So even though I think "That's How You Know" should win, I'm calling this one for "Falling Slowly." Most Surprising Nudity: Although Viggo Mortensen gave it a good try in Eastern Promises and Alan Tudyk did his best in Death at a Funeral, this one will go to Bart Simpson in The Simpsons Movie. Best Animated Short: I'd like to see the Beatles-inspired I Met the Walrus. But I'm going with Madame Tutli-Putli here. Strangest Cameo: Salma Hayek as a bunch of two-dimensional dancing sexy nurses in a scene in Across the Universe that may have been a dream, or a hallucination, or imaginary, or… you know what, I just didn’t get that movie. Best Short: It's plain as day that At Night will win. Best Sound Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum Best Sound Mixing: The Bourne Ultimatum Most Boring Title: Michael Clayton. Although I suppose there have been other well-regarding “First Name, Last Name” films, like Norma Rae and Erin Brockovich. Best Visual Effects: Transformers. I hear there was some pretty good CGI, although it would have been much cooler if they have actually built real cars that transformed into real, sentient robots. Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen for No Country for Old Men. I don't know much about the book, but it struck me while watching the movie that the script was very efficient. Best Original Screenplay: "Diablo Cody" sounds like a high school metal band, but she's actually the writer of this year's only nominated script to incorporate a hamburger phone. Although her characters didn't talk much like real people, they were endearing and the story played out naturally but not predictably. She will win, or my name's not Axis Mephistopheles. Outstanding Achievement in Making Children of the 1980s Cry: Alvin and the Chipmunks Best Director: Joel & Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men. I bet it’ll be a close finish between those guys and There Will Be Blood’s Paul Thomas Anderson, but in the end, the guys who once put pantyhose on Nicholas Cage’s head will take the prize. Best Picture: No Country for Old Men. It seems to me that this film and There Will Be Blood were similar, in that they’re both unconventional period pieces that spend a lot of time on characters who aren’t very heroic. But No Country is probably just a little bit closer to most people’s idea of an Oscar-winning movie. That said, I would be just as happy if Juno won. It’s offbeat like last year’s nominee Little Miss Sunshine, but it’s considerably more focused. Who will win? Who will lose? Will Barbara Walters get Miley Cyrus to cry in her pre-Oscars interview special? I’ll be back here to comment on two out of three of those next week! Now that I’ve shown you my predictions, you show me yours! Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Julie Christie's character may never have worn a Slinky t-shirt, but do you think she's ever worn a slinky t-shirt? As far as the Academy's enigmatic feelings for penguins, let me just add: Penguin dust! Bring me penguin dust! I want penguin dust-- And finally, I'd like to see a movie called "At Wit's End." It would have to include a video mashup set to "When Love is Gone." |
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| Something's missing here. In the Makeup category, you write, "I think this award will go to" ...and that's it. Then it goes on to Best Score. What was the rest of that sentence? I know nothing about the nominees this year, but No Country for Old Men is the highest-ranked movie from last year on IMDB's Top 250 movies. So we'll see how good of a predictor that is. P.S. "When Love is Gone" should win Best Song. Every. Single. Year. ;) |
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| But Ryan - your name's *not* Axis Mephistopheles! Also, I second Tom's desire to see your actual prediction for Best Makeup. |
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| I wonder how that omission got past me. How weird. I fixed it, and I've fired my proofreader. But don't worry about him: he still has his other job as a bowling pin. |
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| I will hereby add my two cents about the only thing I ever have two cents about: Kids movies. Cent #1: I saw Surf's Up and it was surprisingly awesome. You should watch it. I maybe even liked it more than Rattatoullie because Duh Pixar is gonna make an awesome movie, but *another* movie about penguins ending up awesome? That's something special. Cent #2: As a Chipmonk loving 80's child, I liked Alvin and the Chipmonks. It was really freaking cute. |
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| But... but... Alvin ate Theodore's poop! |
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