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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| TV is back! After a summer full of reality shows I don’t care about and cable dramas I can’t see, network TV came roaring back last week, and it promises to be more fun than a barrel of… of… Britney Spearses? Or O.J. Simpsons. Whichever is funnier. You know, most fall TV previews are penned by writers who have actually seen some of the new shows they’re writing about, but not me! You’ll never catch me putting on airs, copping an attitude of “Oh, I’m so much better than everyone because I’m a big fat legitimate TV critic!” I’m not even remotely legitimate! All of my opinions of as-yet-unaired shows are based on 1. Commercials and 2. Reading Entertainment Weekly and The AV Club. You know also, over the summer I’ve gotten used to not having appointment TV. My evenings have been so wide open without television taking up weekly half hours and hours – I’ve watched DVDs, gotten some reading done, and learned Cantonese and the sarussaphone. Two of my favorite shows are over now (Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls) and Lost doesn’t return until February, so maybe this is an opportunity. Maybe I should cut back on TV this season, so I’ll have more time for other pursuits. Nah. Now it’s time for me to make my prediction for the four new shows that are Most Likely to Get Cancelled by the end of the season. In the past I’ve had about a 50% success rate, so expect at least two of these shows to get axed, much like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood: Cavemen, Samantha Who?, Viva Laughlin and The Bionic Woman. Cavemen is based on a Geico commercial. Advance buzz has been pretty uniformly negative and the last sitcom to be based on a commercial (No, not The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer… I’m talking about Baby Bob) didn’t do so well, so expect Cavemen to go extinct pretty quickly. Although a guest appearance by Fred Flintstone might help. Similarly, I predict that The Bionic Woman will be just as successful as other recent attempts to revive old shows (Night Stalker, The Fugitive, The Twilight Zone) and will be beaten in the ratings by shows that are better, stronger, faster. As cute as Christina Applegate is, there’s no way the premise of Samantha Who? -- a cantankerous woman gets amnesia and rediscovers her life – can sustain a series, so I think it’ll be forgotten pretty quickly. Viva Laughlin takes place in a casino and is, apparently, a musical. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if it catches on just because it’s so different, but viewers don’t always tend to go for “different” in a major way. I could be wrong, of course. Laughlin could start a trend of TV musicals, much like the post-Simpsons animation boom or the post-Millionaire game show explosion. This time next year we may be getting new shows about singing doctors, singing lawyers, and singing hitmen. Maybe even a singing animated game show host! No, which new is the New Show I’m Most Looking Forward To? I’m going to go with Pushing Daisies, and not just because ABC gave me a free daisy a few weeks ago as part of the show’s promotion. The creative team includes Bryan Fuller (of Wonderfalls and Heroes) and Addams Family movie director Barry Sonnenfeld, and among the cast, you got your Lee Pace (from Wonderfalls) and your Ellen Greene (who will always be Little Shop of Horrors’ Audrey to me and millions of others). The story is about a piemaker who can bring dead things back to life by touching them. It’s certainly not another procedural crime show. And which is the Returning show I’m Most Looking Forward To? Well, Scrubs was disappointing last season and probably should have ended, and I’m having trouble remembering everything that happened on Heroes, so it’s going to come down between 30 Rock and The Office… I think I’ll go with The Office, because last season’s finale gave us some great developments (Ryan is Michael’s boss, Jim asked out Pam, Jan moved in with Michael), and seeing them play out should be fun. And now I will bestow the award for Worst New Show Title. I’ve known what it was going to be for weeks now… Dirty Sexy Money. What were they thinking? For me, it conjures up images of a $50 dollar bill dressed like a streetwalker, and I have no doubt that everyone else in America will get the same impression. Other thoughts – and I have a lot of them: • The game show hosted by Jeff Foxworthy is called Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? for the second year in a row. I guess it got held back… maybe it got in trouble for pulling Power of 10’s pigtails. • The new show Moonlight is about a heroic brooding vampire. I liked it better the first time… when it was called Magnum P.I.! • You may be asking yourself, Without Gilmore Girls, where will I get my alliteration fix? Well, the CW has Gossip Girl and Gilmore creator Amy Sherman-Palladino is working on the new comedy The Return of Jezebel James, starring the alliterative Parker Posey, so there’s no need for fear a lack of lots of lovely letters. • Did anyone watch the premiere of Back to You last Wednesday? Was it any good? I’ve been saying for years that a talented bunch of writers and actors should get together and create a show that brings the multi-camera, studio-audience sitcom format back to its former glory. Could this be that show… or is it just half an hour of Patricia Heaton and Kelsey Grammer insulting each other? The jokes they showed in the promo don’t make it look so fresh. Why do all commercials for comedies show the stupidest jokes? Is it just that dumb jokes are easiest to understand quickly, or do the networks believe the majority of viewers are dodos? Are they right? • I wish I could say Andy Barker, P.I., the Andy Richter vehicle from last midseason, was returning, but it’s not. You know, Andy Richter is great, but his greatest success so far has been as a sidekick, so maybe he should think about being part of an ensemble, rather than the lead, in his next series. • The one-word title craze continues, with new shows like Cane, Reaper, Moonlight, and Carpoolers joining the returning likes of Shark, Bones and House. Who wants to write a story using only the words of current TV show titles? • From what I’ve read, this season of How I Met Your Mother will be special because he’s finally going to meet your mother. As the show enters its third year, it’s about time. Maybe your mother will convince Alyson Hannigan to let her hair go back to its natural red color. She doesn't look so good with dark locks. • If I were a real entertainment journalist, I would write this sentence about Kate Walsh’s new show: “There are big expectations for the new Grey’s Anatomy spinoff, but will Private Practice make perfect?” But I’m not, so I won’t. Okay, I think that’s all I have to say about TV today. Tell me what you’re watching and liking and recording and hating! Comments on this post are closed. |
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| You mention shows like The Fugitive and The Twilight Zone, but what NBC is trying to emulate with The Bionic Woman is clearly something more recent than either of those - Battlestar Galactica. I'm not saying they'll succeed (I've never even seen BG), but that's almost certainly why it got greenlit, as they say. |
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| I'm sure that's true, but Battlestar Galactica became a hit in terms of cable, which is not the same as being a network-sized hit. Still, you never know. |
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| I will admit to watching "Back to You." They didn't use the worst jokes in the promos--those were the best jokes. Pathetic. I note with some evil satisfaction that Grammer's career has been in downhill slide ever since Jason Roe and I were in line for the "Frasier" sticom taping in L.A. , and were told "you should be able to get in." Then, after long wait and at last minute, they told us, "Too bad" and actually shut the door in our faces. Seems to me that was the beginning of the end for Grammer. Moral: don't mess with the Roe boys. |
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| Cavemen is definitely DOA and Viva Laughlin hasn't been getting good reviews in addition to being a tough sell. There's your 50% right there. Samantha Who? probably won't make it, but I'm optimistic about Bionic Woman. I think Dirty Sexy Money might do okay, too. I'd like to put Private Practice on my list of Most Likely to Get Cancelled. I think "Life" is the worst title because it tells me absolutely nothing about what show I'm watching. |
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| I also think that Bionic Woman has a pretty good shot. Unlike Night Stalker, The Fugitive, and The Twilight Zone, this is a sci-fi show that revolves around a very attractive female lead, which might be enough to help it at least hang on for a season or two...kind of like Dark Angel (though I myself don't really see the big fuss over Jessica Alba). Viva Laughlin, Samantha Who? and, especially, Cavemen, though...I think you're right on with those. Pushing Daisies looks intriguing, but I'm afraid the premise might be too out-there for a lot of viewers. And yeah, The Office is the returning show I'm most looking forward to as well. With four hour-long episodes to start the season! You mentioned it in passing, but I'm curious to know your take on Reaper. Do you think it will be any good? How about Chuck? (I'm asking for your take on Chuck, not for a guy named Chuck's take on Reaper...) |
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| You don't mention it, but Dad & I watched Journeyman last night (just because it was on after something else we were watching), and we didn't get it. Can anyone explain it to us? And I agree with Dad about the Kelsey Grammer show. It was pretty bad. The returning show I most want to see is CSI to see if Sara survives the Miniature Killer. It doesn't look good for her. |
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| RoetheRev: Well, it's disappointing but not surprising to hear that Back to You is no good. I still have faith that somebody, somewhere, somehow could come up with a traditional sitcom that's actually funny. Maybe something simple and farcial (but not dirty) like I Love Lucy? Also, I'm glad to see that you continue to cross your fingers for misfortune to befall Kelsey Grammer, after all these years. Carolyn: Are you planning to watch Viva Laughlin? I guess I shouldn't assume nobody else cares about Bionic Woman just because I don't, but I stand by my prediction. As for Life, I'm guessing it's about cereal, a board game, or a magazine photographer. Jason: Dark Angel stuck around for two seasons, but wasn't it low-rated the whole time? It may be that Jessica Alba's midsection was the only thing keeping it afloat. How's the Bionic Woman's midsection? I will be the opposite of shocked if Pushing Daises turns out to be yet another unconventional show that I love that fails to find an audience. As for Reaper, I watched it tonight and liked what I saw. The hero is likable enough, and the wisecracking friend and the smooth, laid-back devil are perfectly cast. If they can keep coming up with creative ways to capture escaped dead people it could become a regular for me. Tricia: I dug Journeyman. You understood that he was involuntarily jumping back and forth in time, right? It looks like the premise is going to be that each week he receives information in the present that he has to use to change the past, which in turn improves the present. I could easily see myself looking forward to it more than Heroes every Monday. I have no idea what's going on with CSI... Is Jorja Fox even signed on for this season? |
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