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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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Teen girl magazines. Are they the coolest or what? I don't know where I would be without their insightful articles on the trendiest promwear, and their in-depth interviews with notable newsmakers like Amanda Bynes. But my favorite features in any of these magazines are always the collections of true-life anecdotes. Check out this one, from this month's issue of YOU GO, GIRL. Hey, girls! Don’t you hate it when something embarrassing happens in public? It’s like life pulls down your pants, pushes you down a flight of stairs, then points and laughs at you in front of the whole school! Here are some humiliating moments sent in by One night while I was waitressing, I discovered that the guy I had a huge crush on was sitting at one of my tables with his friends. I decided not to freak out, but instead act professional so he would be impressed by my skills and leave me a good tip… or his phone number! But when I tried to ask him, “Do you want fries or mashed potatoes?” I got nervous and accidentally said, “Do you want fries or me licking your face?” All his friends laughed. I was mortified! -Courtney, 16, Dayton, Ohio I was walking through the courtyard at school with my phone in one hand and a granola bar in the other. As I was talking to my friends, I forgot which hand was which and accidentally took a big bite out of the phone! I didn’t want to let anyone know I had made such a stupid mistake, so I ended up eating my entire phone! It didn’t taste too bad, but now my abdomen vibrates every time I get a call! -Ashleeeee, 15, Sheep’s Elbow, Missouri I went to the mall to buy some new sweaters at the Gap. Inside the store, a salesperson asked if she could help me, so I said, “I’m looking for something form-fitting, in a color that goes with my eyes.” I noticed everyone in the store giving me these really funny looks, and that’s when I realized I had walked into the Adult Diaper Emporium by mistake! I got out of there in a hurry! Right after I checked out their spring sale. -Kelli, 16, Santo Pollo, California My boyfriend was out of town for a Spring Break trip with his guy friends, and I was really missing him. I sat down at the computer and wrote him an e-mail, and let’s just say I said some pretty naughty things. The subject was, “Can't stop thinking about u, Sexy Stud Boy.” I guess I typed in the wrong address, though, because instead of my boyfriend, the e-mail got sent to the private address of the president of the United States! It was really humiliating, and now I have a Secret Service code name that this magazine tells me isn’t fit for print! -Dorothi, 18, Truth of Consequences, New Mexico There’s this incredibly cute guy at school, and I really wanted to get his attention, but he never noticed me. One day after chemistry class, I overheard him say to a friend, “Man, I really hate that teacher. I wish she was dead. ” It gave me what I thought was a great idea. But when I dragged Mrs. Girkin’s lifeless corpse to my crush’s house, all he said was, “Dude, I was just kidding,” and he closed the door in my face. I guess he’ll never buy me a homecoming mum… not that the guards would let me have one in here! -Cherise, 16, Federal Penitentiary, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Frito pie is one of my favorite foods, so I was excited when it was on the menu in the cafeteria at the courthouse where I work. As I walked out into the lunchroom, this totally cute guy Antonin waved me over to his table. I guess I had an attack of the clumsies, because I tripped and dropped my tray, spilling Frito pie all over my robe. Everyone laughed at me, and I turned bright red. It was mortifying, and to this day, everyone in the judiciary calls me “Frito Robe.” -Ruth, 73, Washington, D.C. I was at the beach wearing a really cute new bikini. I wanted the hottie lifeguard to notice me, so I decided to get his attention by pretending I was getting carried out by the tide. But when I started flailing my arms and legs, I attracted the attention of a shark instead, and it ate me! Needless to say, the lifeguard noticed me… but instead of asking me out he ended up retrieving my severed arm from the water! I was so embarrassed! -Brittnie, 17, Lake Hill Cemetery I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends in the food court at the mall when the subject of endocrinology came up. When my friend Cassie made a point, I wanted to make sure I had understood her, so I said her, “Okay, so you’re saying that when ghrelin is released from the panceas as an amino acid—“ But just then, my friend Kirstin interrupted me and said, “Lindsi, ghrelin is a peptide hormone released by the stomach, not an amino acid from the pancreas!” All the girls laughed at me. It was, like, totally embarrassing! -Lindsi, 14, Giant Squid, Minnesota I was really psyched when Josh, the school football hero, asked me to the prom. But right at the end of a slow, romantic song, he stepped on my dress and completely pulled it off me. Worse than that, the zipper caught my artificial syntho-skin, ripping it off and exposing my true Jorzlognian form. I was forced to abandon my Earth observation mission, and I had to vaporize everyone at the prom… even Josh! I was so mortified! -X#±/\Ž, 623 zolgars, Jorzlognus-III I was playing in a volleyball game in front of the whole school, including a guy I had a major crush on. After I got hit in the head with the ball, my pants fell down and my panties disintegrated. Then my pad fell on the floor, then a huge sheepdog ran in and knocked me down, and when my crush came down to see if I was all right, I accidentally spit a gallon of grape soda on him, then sneezed on him. Then I got shot. After that, my friends called me “Black-and-Blue, Snotty, and Bleeding Profusely Stephanie,” until I moved to a remote village in Iceland, changed my name, and destroyed all evidence of my former identity. -Anonymous, location unknown Got an embarrassing story? Send it to us, so you can be the object of even more ridicule! Now turn the page for tips on how to choose the best lip gloss for taking the SAT! Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Oh my gosh! They printed my submission! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find several well-dressed friends with whom to squeal and jump up and down. |
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| Somehow I missed this before. It's just about perfect. "Ruth" is my favorite one. And good work on avoiding poop jokes, which, if I recall correctly, were about 82% of the stories in those magazines. "I was talking to my crush, and I got so nervous I pooped in my bikini" and so on. |
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