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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| I watched the Oscars. Did you? If you all said yes, some of you are lying, because it was the second-lowest-rated Oscar telecast since 1974. But I watched it. It’s been a week and a half since the ceremony, so all the Three 6 Mafia jokes have already been taken. Still, I think it’s funny that any future compilation albums of “Academy Award-Winning Songs” might include such classics as The Way You Look Tonight, When You Wish Upon a Star, I Just Called to Say I Love You, A Whole New World… and It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp. I think if there were an award for the best performance of a Best Song nominee during the show, it would have to go to Dolly Parton for Travelin’ Through. She blew in and rocked the house without the aid of a band, dancers, or ho’s. There were way too many montages this year. I know there are people -- like my college buddy Sara, who is probably reading this – who like the montages, but to me they serve no purpose other than to make me wish I were watching the movies represented in the clips instead of just the montages. Jake Gyllenhaal introduced one medley of clips from movies that are so epic, so grand in scope and scale, that they must be seen on a giant movie screen to be truly appreciated. Then they ran the montage, and I watched it on my 27” screen. Of course, the most surprising win was Crash’s Best Picture victory over the favored Brokeback Mountain. I saw a lot of clever headlines in the days after the ceremony, but I think my favorites were “Crashing the Party” and “It Ain’t Broke.” I was not as successful in predicting the winners this year as I have been in previous years, only foreseeing ten of the 24 major awards. I suppose there's always next year. Here, then, is a list of the winners, along with my incorrect predictions where applicable. Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney. (I predicted Jake Gyllenhaal.) Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon. If you ask me, Witherspoon also gave the Best Acceptance Speech of the ceremony, and she was the Prettiest Girl at the Prom. Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz. (I predicted Michelle Williams.) The announcer made sure to mention the fact that Weisz is best-known for her roles in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. Once you’ve cited The Mummy, is it really necessary to mention The Mummy Returns? I also remember her for her role in the trailer for The Mummy. Why didn’t they mention that too? Best Animated Feature: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. This is one category where all the nominees were really deserving of the award. And I say that as someone who has not seen Howl’s Moving Castle. Best Art Direction: Memoirs of a Geisha. (I predicted King Kong.) I protest! Japan really exists, but there’s no such place as Skull Island. The King Kong art directors had more work to do. Best Cinematography: Memoirs of a Geisha. (I predicted Brokeback Mountain.) I haven’t seen Memoirs of a Geisha, but the cinematography must be pretty dang good if it’s better than Brokeback, which set a new cinematic standard for beautiful, exquisite imagery of a whole mess o’ sheep. Filthiest Bob Saget: The Aristocrats won, as I predicted, though Saget’s Madagascar role as “Zoo Animal” gave it a run for its money. Zoo animals get pretty filthy sometimes, you know. Best Costume Design: Memoirs of a Geisha Best Documentary Feature: March of the Penguins. I predicted Murderball, figuring it had the edge of… edginess over the more commercially popular Penguins. By the way, this was only the second time an Oscar acceptance speech was partially delivered in Penguin language. Best Documentary Short: A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin. (I predicted The Death of Kevin Carter: Casualty of the Bang Bang Club.) I knew it would be a film with a colon in the title: I just picked the wrong one. Best Editing: Crash Best Foreign Language Film: Tsotsi. (I predicted Sophie Scholl – The Final Days.) Best Makeup: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. (I predicted Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith.) Best Score: Gustavo Santaolalla, Brokeback Mountain (I predicted John Williams, Memoirs of a Geisha.) Has John Williams really not won an Oscar since Schindler’s List? What’s up with that? Best Song: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” from Hustle & Flow. (I predicted “In the Deep” from Crash.) Best Animated Short: The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation. (I predicted One Man Band.) Another colon-titled winner. Best Short: Six Shooter Best Sound Editing: King Kong Best Sound Mixing: King Kong. (I predicted War of the Worlds.) Aw, man. I totally should have gone with King Kong. What was I thinking? Best Visual Effects: King Kong. Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain. Best Original Screenplay: Crash. (I predicted Match Point.) Best Director: Ang Lee. He deserved it, but I still wish they had gotten somebody else to direct The Hulk. Best Picture: Crash. (I predicted Brokeback Mountain.) (So did a lot of other people. Whatever.) Comments on this post are closed. |
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| It's kind of amazing how many crappy movies Rachel Weisz was in before she got her Oscar; the ones that comes immediately to my mind are Constantine and Confidence. Bad, bad, bad. Maybe she'll get better roles now. I'm so touched you remember my montageophilia. This was one of my favorite Oscars, though everyone else thought they were boring. I loved the Wallace and Gromit guys' bowties! So cute! You're not missing much by not watching Howl's Moving Castle, it's probably Miyazaki's worst work. |
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| "they must be seen on a giant movie screen to be truly appreciated" I understood that to mean, "That movie you downloaded before the movie came out will never look as good as it does in the theater." To be fair, I've seen some movies in some pretty crummy theaters, but I agree that no home theater viewing of the opening battle of Revenge of the Sith will ever make me as dizzy as it did in a DLP theater. "The Aristocrats won, as I predicted, though Saget's Madagascar role as 'Zoo Animal' gave it a run for its money." The Aristocrats also beat out the previous film for all-time filthiest Bob Saget: Half Baked. Farce of the Penguins has potential to have a filthy Bob Saget, but I doubt it will beat the Aristocrats. |
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| I hadn't thought about that aspect (ratio?) of the "DVD doesn't it justice" montage, because a lot of the films shown were older epics and thus less likely to be downloaded by a modern college student, but I bet that also motivated it. I think The Aristrocrats set an unbeatable precedent for filthy Saget. |
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