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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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| Pass the popcorn, buddy, because it’s that time again! Time for the one big annual TV event that almost rivals the Super Bowl in viewer excitement, and far surpasses it in cultural significance… That’s right, it’s the Oscars! This year I’ve done really well in getting to the cinema to keep up with some of the most notable nominated movies. I swear, if I see that “guy from the future gives Genghis Khan a Coke” ad one more time, I’m going to eat my armrest. But I like movies, so I’m filled with all kinds of woo-hoo, and I can’t wait to see who wins. It’s going to be really— Oh. Hey… buddy? I appreciate your popping the popcorn and everything, but this is really burned. I mean, eating this would be like licking butter-flavored charcoal. Could you make another bag? Thanks, buddy. Anyway, here are my predictions: Best Actor: It would be funny if Heath Ledger won and gave an acceptance speech in character as Ennis del Mar from Brokeback Mountain. “I’d like to thank the mumblemumblemumble…” But Philip Seymour Hoffman will probably win. Best Supporting Actor: This is a tough one, but although Paul Giamatti won raves for his performance as the fairy godfather in the Cinderfella remake Cinderella Man, I’m going to go with Jake Gyllenhaal. Unless it’s Matt Dillon. Outstanding Achievement in Smoking: David Strathairn in Good Night, and Good Luck. He smokes so much, everyone in the theater I went to was coughing by the end. Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon. She deserves it. I thought she was better than Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line. In her acceptance speech, she can thank her husband and her baby baby baby baby baby. Best Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams. From what I hear, Amy Adams may be more deserving, but I suspect there’s a sizable Dawson’s Creek fan contingent in the Academy, so the more alliterative actress will be left lacking and somewhat sad. Best Animated Feature: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Although if I were in the Academy I might vote for The Corpse Bride. Most Unnecessary Onscreen Kiss: Vin Diesel and Lauren Graham in The Pacifier. Oh, man. If I could choose two seconds of my memory to erase… Best Art Direction: King Kong Best Cinematography: Brokeback Mountain Filthiest Bob Saget: The Aristocrats Best Costume Design: Memoirs of a Geisha Best Documentary Feature: Murderball. Sorry, penguins. Best Documentary Short: The Death of Kevin Carter: Casualty of the Bang Bang Club. Nominated documentaries have such depressing titles sometimes… Awesomest Car: The Batmobile from Batman Begins will decisively clobber Herbie from Herbie: Fully Loaded Best Editing: Crash Best Foreign Language Film: Sophie Scholl – The Final Days. Although I should point out that I haven’t seen any of the nominees. Most Disgusting Use of a Pen: Red-Eye Best Makeup: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith. I think The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is favored here, but I’m going with my gut. Then again, what would a gut know about makeup? Best Score: John Williams, Memoirs of a Geisha. Although that guitar strummin’ in Brokeback Mountain sure was purty. Best Song: Only three nominees. Wow. I’m going to go with “In the Deep” from Crash, but I wonder why “Xtreme Love” from Supercross: The Movie wasn’t nominated. Best Giant Gorilla Ice Choreography: King Kong Best Animated Short: One Man Band Best Short: Six Shooter Best Sound Editing: King Kong Best Sound Mixing: War of the Worlds Greatest Game Ever Played: The Greatest Game Ever Played Best Visual Effects: King Kong. If you ask me, that big ape is now the most realistic CG character ever. Adrien Brody is a close second. Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain. Duh. Best Original Screenplay: Match Point. Critics lobbed lauds at Woody Allen’s return to non-crappiness. I think Oscar voters will recognize it. Best Director: Ang Lee Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain So, those are my predictions. We’ll see how I do on Sunday night, when Jon Stewart hosts the ceremony on ABC. I like Jon Stewart… He’s funny and left-handed. Tune in later for my inevitable follow-up post. Oh, and buddy? While you’re up, could you get me a Pepsi Vanilla? Thanks, buddy. Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Wow, now I actually want to go to the movies, just to see Genghis Khan get coked. |
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| It's not that great. I really, really hate having to watch commercials (not trailers) before the movie. But that may be a subject for another post. |
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| Woody Allen's return to non-crappiness, eh? Aren't you the guy who liked "Anything Else"? I've seen none of the major nominees this year. I have no opinion on any of this. |
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