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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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“Good morning.” “It’s 3:15.” “Well, it’s morning somewhere in the world.” “Right. I was wondering if you could help me.” “I can try! My name is Jerry. I work here.” “Your nametag says ‘MARTIN.’” “Well, my name is Jerry somewhere in the world!” “Right.” “So, what seems to be the trouble?” “The trouble—you might say the problem—is that there’s a Chihuahua which has clamped onto my left hand with its teeth and refuses to let go.” “Oh. That’s a problem, all right.” “It is, it really is. I can’t use my left hand.” “Well, at least you still have your right hand, to write with.” “But I’m left-handed.” “Oh, man. I didn’t realize.” “Yeah.” “Okay, let me think… I’ve got it!” “Yes?” “You can teach the Chihuahua to write! There, your problem’s solved.” “Thanks, but I was really hoping to get the Chihuahua off my hand.” “Oh.” “Besides, I enjoy bowling, and I don’t think I could teach the Chihuahua to bowl.” “Uh-huh. So, this thing happened… and why exactly did you come looking for help at a shoe store?” “I guess I was hoping you could shoo the Chihuahua.” “Ah… that’s very clever.” “Thanks, I thought of it myself.” “Well, what about this… I’ll ask the Chihuahua if he’d like to try on some new basketball shoes, and when he opens his mouth to answer me, you shake him off.” “What? That would never work!” “Why not?” “Because, this Chihuahua doesn’t play basketball. He’s more into card games.” “Oh. Dagnabbit.” “My sentiments exactly.” “Okay… I hope you don’t mind if I eat this Big Ol’ Slab o’ Beef I brought for lunch.” “I don’t mind at all. Will it help you think?” “Yeah.” “That’s good then.” “I didn’t mean it would help me think about your Chihuahua problem. Strangely enough, it’s going to help me think about international copyright law.” “That doesn’t help me any.” “Sorry. Okay, let’s see, I’ll just unwrap this…” “Hey, would you look at that! The Chihuahua let go of my hand! It’s a miracle!” “Oh, that’s just great… he’s eating my Slab o’ Beef now.” “Yeah, and now he’s eating the wrapper.” “He’s a hungry little bugger, ain’t he?” “You think that’s something? You should see my wife eat!” “Ha!” “Ha! Well, anyway, I don’t know how to thank you for helping me with that.” “You could buy something in my shoe store here.” “Oh… oh yeah. Do you have anything in a pair of green high heels?” “For you?” “No!” “I suppose you’re going to tell me they’re for your wife.” “No.” “Then they’re for the Chihuahua?” “No.” “Who then?” “The Chihuahua’s wife.” “Oh. Okay, I’ll be right with you. I just have one thing to do.” “What’s that?” “Grow a beard. Can you come back in three and a half weeks?” “No, that’s the day I run around the hospital dressed as Tarzan.” “Oh. Well, in that case, just take these two tickets to tonight’s bullfight.” “Gee, thanks! My wife loves that kind of stuff… or is it ballet she loves? Oh well. Bye.” “Hey, wait! You forgot your Chihuahua!” “Aw, you can keep him.” “Okay, I’ll use him as a shoehorn.” “Okay.” Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Your creativity continues to amaze me-=--What an imagination, and you have such talent with writing. Congrats on making it for a week without the computer! Loved your diary...Love to your weird and crazy family...GG |
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| It's a good thing the Chihuahua came loose. Otherwise, when this fellow was taking a bath, he'd have to make sure to wash behind the Chihuahua clamped to his left hand. And when he went to the opera, he'd have to spring for a seat for the Chihuahua clamped to his left hand. Or if he were playing Ultimate Frisbee, he'd have to remember not to shield himself with his left hand. And if he were clipping his fingernails, he'd have to spend a little extra time on the Chihuahua clamped to his left hand. I laughed so hard at the "grow a beard" line that I thought I was in physical danger for a minute there. |
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| Whether or not you think he should shield himself from the ultimate frisbee with his left hand depends on how much you like Chihuahuas. Physical danger, eh? You know, if I can put just one person in the hospital with my journal, I'll be content. |
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| Another step of progress for left-handers everywhere! But my question is, was the Chihuahua left-handed too? Left-handers of the world, unite! |
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| Kudos on a very entertaining read. I don't know exactly why, but the "it will help me think...about international copyright law" part was very funny to me. When you get done answering the question about the Chihuahua's handedness, I have another one for you: just out of curiosity, how exactly did you get the idea for this story? |
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| The idea? I thought it was obvious that it was directly inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Actually, I think this may have been one of those times I just sat down and started typing. |
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