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| Name: Ryan Roe Email: prawnrr-rmv@this.com-yahoo.com Position: Movie / Television / Comic Book / Trivia Geek View Ryan's Personal Profile |
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"Hello." "Whoa! How did you get in here?" "You let me in. About ten seconds ago." "I did? I don't remember that. Are you sure it was ten seconds ago?" "Well, it's more like fifteen now." "Oh! Now I remember. Why didn't you say so in the first place? Anyway, why are you here?" "My name is Marvin Funtimes. You called me because you're seeking an entertainer for a birthday party." "Oh, that's right! And you'd like to hire me? Well, would you like to see me bake a cake?" "No, see, you called me. I'm a birthday party entertainer." "Oh! Well, that's a relief. I don't think I could bake a cake anyway. I don't even have a screwdriver. So... you're a birthday party entertainer?" "I sure am. With a name like 'Marvin Funtimes' my options for employment were somewhat limited. So, let me ask you this – what kind of entertainment are you looking for for this birthday party?" "Well, it's a party for my six-year-old son Nick. So what can you do?" "Oh, just about anything, really. I can sing, dance, make balloon animals, do magic tricks…" "Wow! That's terrific!" "So you'd like me to do some magic, then." "No, I meant it's terrific that your name is Marvin." "Ah. Well, how about I do a little demonstration of my magic?" "Okay. What are you going to do?" "I think I'll saw you in half." "That sounds great!" "Okay, I'm sawing you in half!" "Wow, look at that. You are sawing me in half!" "There you go, I'm all finished. Now you're in two pieces." "That's really amazing. But I have a confession to make." "What's that?" "I'm not really throwing a birthday party for my six-year-old son Nick. Nick is my pet iguana, and his birthday's not for another two years. In reality, I wanted to trick you into sawing me in half." "Why ever would you want to do that?" "You see, I normally get up early every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning to do the crossword puzzle in the morning paper. Then, on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I get up early to go jogging. There's just not time to do both. But now that you've cut me in half—" "I get it! You can do both at the same time! Your bottom half can go jogging, while your top half can do the crossword puzzle! I gotta say, even though I'm a little upset that you lured me here under false pretenses, I admire your creativity. But I'm afraid I will need compensation for doing the trick. Sir? Sir? Why aren't you answering me?" "Because I'm bleeding to death." "Oh. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all." "No… I still think it would have worked." "Since you're slowly dying right in front of me, you can't really pay me, can you?" "I would get my checkbook, but it's in the other room and my bottom half would probably get lost on the way. But I have an idea!" "Great! You're good at ideas." "Thank you. When I'm dead, you can take one of the halves of me and keep it as your payment. You can do whatever you want with it." "That sounds very fair. I accept." "Okay then. Now, which half do you think you'll want?" "I can tell you right now that I'd prefer the top half." "An excellent choice. Nice doing business with you." "Yes. I'd love to cut you in half again sometime." "But that's impossible." "Why?" "Because I'm already cut in half! You'd have to cut me into quarters!" "You're right! You're so smart." "Whoops, I'm dead now. Bye" "Bye." THE END ©2008 Ryan Roe Comments on this post are closed. |
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| Ryan, you have a very weird sense of humor. Wherever did you get it? |
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